Heart of Grief and Peace

Recently I found myself in an interesting position. Although I help people prepare for grief and in the midst of their grief, this was a new one. It is different when family is involved. What made it even more unusual is that it was my brother’s dog that had died and I had never been a fan. But my sibling and his wife were much shaken with the unpleasant death of their first and only beloved canine. She had lived beyond her life expectancy and been a good pet for the family of four. So, I did my best to empathize and encourage them in their grief, although I could not at all relate.

Picking up in Proverbs 14, we come across a verse that most folks can relate to since the loss of a person and/or pet. Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief (14:13). I am sure you have been to viewings and funerals where both laughter and tears were present. Death naturally brings an emotional response. We can have warm thoughts and even laughter one minute when good memories come to mind. The next moment, those same memories may bring sadness and tears because of the recognition that our connection has been severed in this earthly life. My brother’s wife had a hard time cooking or making coffee at first because for 13 years her dog was at her side as she did those things. Thankfully God gives us the ability to laugh, even as our hearts may ache. Sometimes our lives of joy can be interrupted by grief. This season of loss and sadness does not last forever, but it can certainly be heavy. One should not put a time frame on grief, nor feel guilty when we are blessed with laughter in its midst. I gave my brother and his family a pet sympathy card. I must be getting softer with age!

The faithless will be fully repaid for their ways, and the good rewarded for theirs (14). As is often the case in Proverbs we find a contrast. A fool or backslider will “get theirs”. A faithful person will get their reward someday, if not in this life, in the next. If more people who are godless would consider consequences in advance, they may make better choices. I also wonder why I do not think more in terms of serving the Lord and others in bigger ways more often. I know rewards should not be my motivation but since I know they are coming, why not look forward to them?

Most Christians are aware that Jesus taught us to love our neighbors and told parables that explained that our neighbor can be anyone in need whom we come in contact with. So, if you live without anyone bordering your land, you are not off the hook. It is a sin to despise one’s neighbor, but blessed is the one who is kind to the needy (21). If we are honest, some of our neighbors (people God puts in our path) are not easy to love or even be around. Of course, the Bible does not say “Love your neighbors who are cool and easy to love”. It often points to choosing to love the difficult cases. There is no one whom we should despise. We are blessed (and perhaps rewarded) when we show kindness to the needy. That certainly may involve some sort of tangible giving. It may also relate to simply showing respect and taking the time to be involved in his or her life. You may be the only person who is willing and able to do so. A key element in making this happen is what we have seen so many times in Proverbs – humility. In humility I must remember all are created in God’s image. I must keep any appointments the Lord has made for me to show love to others. I will be blessed when I do.

Another truth we find in the Bible is the value of hard work. It goes without saying that work brings productivity and income. My hours and paycheck have been impacted by the pandemic and things do not appear to be improving. That has been a challenge on several fronts. Yet, I am grateful that at least I am working. So many folks have lost their jobs all together. In the old show Petticoat Junction, we find a character named Uncle Joe (he’s a-movin’ kinda slow). Though the inn always struggled to make ends meet, talker Joe usually had some scheme to get some income without actually working. Of course, it did not work. All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty (23). We should work hard as if working for the Lord as long as we can to provide. Along the way we must trust that he will provide for us.

Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly (29). I used to be patient. Then I got married and had kids. Maybe nothing really changed except there were far more opportunities to show patience or lack thereof. When the Holy Spirit controls me I have much more patience with others. I think I come across as more understanding when filled with him. Sadly, without God’s help I may appear self-focused and unkind in my impatience. What starts in my spirit and attitude is brought to light by my foolish words and harsh body language.

Spirit and attitude lead to the final verse for now. A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones (30). One cannot overestimate the worth of a heart at peace. God gives us our feelings and emotions. We may be saddened by the loss of a pet or an election. We may be excited when our team wins a game or someone encourages us. No matter what is happening around us we can have a heart at peace. When we do, our bodies and spirits have life. Ill feelings, negativity and jealousy “rots the bones”. That does not sound good at all. As we enter spring time and approach the Easter season, go to the Prince of Peace for renewal. He is in the business of giving peace, life, and hope.