Lines by Lee

If you have adult children you can probably relate to what I have been experiencing over the past several years. My sons are 17 and 18. They are not children anymore. And though they want to be treated as adults they are not showing a lot of signs of being ready to be on their own. They may be taller and physically stronger than me. Yet they are somewhat lacking in the wisdom and maturity department. One even said he could probably be fine without his parents besides the money thing. It sometimes seems to be offensive to them when we offer advice or guidance. They want independence but do not want more responsibilities. Their joy in life seems to have lessened. The willingness to go to church is not what is used to be. As parents we do not love them any less than when they were younger but there are times when we long for those simpler, more compliant days. Sound familiar?

Proverbs 4 addresses the process that takes place in a person's life as she or he matures physically and hopefully spiritually and emotionally. Generations have gone through these challenges since the beginning. While parents want to pass along biblical wisdom, foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child (Proverbs 22:15). Parents need discipline and patience to drive it far away and to put their child on the path of wisdom. Some experts say that adolescence now stretches into the mid or even late 20s. As I observed with my parents, a father and mother never stop loving and caring for their children.

"My children, listen when your father corrects you. Pay attention and learn good judgment, for I am giving you good guidance. Don't turn away from my instructions" (Proverbs 4:1-2). No one likes to be corrected. We have a tendency to think we are always right and do not need anyone to set us straight. The last thing we want is to have to listen to someone in authority. What would life be like for a person of faith who never obeys God? If we do not pay attention to his Word we are doomed to make foolish choices that hurt him and ourselves. As parents we must give good guidance as our heavenly Father does through the Holy Spirit and the Bible. It is frustrating when we try to instruct children and grandchildren and they do not respond well. It is heartbreaking when they turn away from good instructions. Imagine how the Lord must feel. He has quite a few children who pay no attention and turn away. However, God continues to patiently pursue and instruct his sons and daughters. Those of us with children still under our roof must do the same. The easy thing to do is back off. It is more peaceful that way. Yet it is less prudent and productive. Love never fails to correct.

"For I, too, was once my father's son..." (3). What parent has not reminded their child that they were once young? I guess we do that because it seems so hard to believe. Most of us have photographic evidence that we once had less wrinkles, more hair, and a smaller waistline. It is good we grew up in an era when photos were actually printed out. Those pictures can serve as a reminder to our kids that we can relate in some ways. They can also be good for a laugh. Wisdom can come from the fact that "when I was your age" I learned a thing or two that may make me a bit wiser. And the younger generation would be wise to tune out their peers and the world to listen to parents and grandparents.

The next section has a lot to say about the benefits of the younger generation listening to the older. My father taught me, "Take my words to heart. Follow my commands, and you will live.

"Get wisdom; develop good judgment. Don't forget my words or turn away from them.

"Don't turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you. Love her, and she will guard you.

"Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.

"If you prize wisdom, she will make you great. Embrace her, and she will honor you. She will place a lovely wreath on your head; she will present you with a beautiful crown" (4-9).

Now the father is passing on what his father taught him. The words of a parent should be listened to heartily. I do think my sons take to heart what I say but they would never admit it. As it relates to matters of faith they need to personalize their walk with God. Wise parents realize we must steer, model, and lead spiritually but also allow our kids to make their faith their own. This is not easy because they may struggle and stray mightily as they do so. The wise parent will do more praying than pacing as their children become more independent. Fathers and mothers must become more dependent on their Father in heaven even as they seek to impart biblical, parental wisdom.

Following the wisdom of the Word brings life. Jesus said he wanted us to have life to the full (John 10:10). Everyone wants an abundant, full life. Jesus is the only source for that. Wisely walking with him is the key to enjoying it.

Good judgment is something that has to be developed. The average child does not naturally make good choices. Only time, experience, and a parent's supportive, loving direction can help one develop good judgment. Wisdom is something we get when we make an investment towards it. We all need reminded of the words of Scripture. The dangers in turning away from them are real. There are consequences when we go our way instead of God's. He has designed life to work that way because of his love for us. Seeking and valuing wisdom offers protection that far exceeds that offered by the masks we must wear.

Is makes sense that "getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do"! We have all seen what happens when we think and live foolishly. No one is exempt from being hurt by the foolishness of others. So no wonder so much of Proverbs stress wisdom. Little else in life matters if we do not learn to use good judgment and prize wisdom. Like a person wearing a crown, wisdom will be obvious.

Our children and grandchildren are watching for wisdom. Let us not disappoint them!